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In some couples the partners have very different finances because one comes from a wealthy family and/or earns much more than the other. They may also have differences in their understanding of finance, budgets, cash flow, or the importance of saving, investing and planning for the future. Plus they usually have deeper issues and anxieties about the symbolic meaning of money. These dynamics can cause conflict and unhappiness. In fact, if these differences are not handled and resolved they can lead to ongoing money battles and even destroy the relationship.

Here are five tips on how to break through the differences and come together as a loving team:

Tips

1. Recognize that money has a symbolic meaning.

Money means different things to each of you. It may represent issues of trust, personal and family security, power, freedom or pleasure. If you battle about money and don’t discover what the real concerns are, you and your partner will just keep fighting the same battle over and over again.

2. Discover the issues underlying conflicts about money.

Take turns interviewing each other like a reporter would. Ask your partner about personal needs, wishes, fears and long-term goals. Don’t make any comments, just ask questions and take notes. As you are being interviewed, don’t hold back, speak your truths and dream big.

3. Look for common goals and a shared vision of the future.

Review each other’s lists and look for the commonalities both in terms of fears and long-term goals. You will be surprised at the similarities. No matter how much wealth you have now, you both may be afraid of losing your lifestyle or being cut-off from the family’s wealth and ending up poor. On the other hand, both of you may want a life filled with children or travel and art but are unable to figure out how to create that future. To manifest this vision brainstorm together as a team.

4. Consider a win-win pre- or post-nuptial agreement.

This contract is designed to handle anxieties and fears. It gives assurance to the less-moneyed spouse that his/her needs will be met in the event of divorce or death. A financial agreement calms the fears of the richer partner because he/she will then not be exploited financially in the event of a bitter separation or divorce.

5. Create and agree on a long-term financial plan.

The long-term financial plan will get you to the future vision you both want to create. Many couples need to create a shared budget with his, hers and shared money to help fulfill these personal and common goals. Even if there is no need for the less-moneyed partner to have an income, it is very important for that person to have his/her own bank account and/or a fulfilling activity or career. These steps lead to greater self-esteem and reduce the power imbalance in the couple. For example, the less well-off partner may want to work for a low paying non-profit that is spiritually gratifying, while the other spouse enjoys working as an investment banker or in the family business and supports their lifestyle together.

You can learn much more about negotiating and resolving financial and other thorny love relationship issues in my new book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.

Psychologist, Dr. Diana Kirschner, appeared on Oprah and is a frequent guest on the Today Show. For 25+ years she has helped thousands of single women find love. Her acclaimed new book is Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. For her etips, blog, dating articles, daily affirmations & discussion forum visit http://www.lovein90days.com

If we analyze the way we respond to other people, we will realize that we feel magnetized by some and repulsed by some others. The magnitude of feelings for others is a direct measure of how attracted we are to them, or how deep our interest runs for these people. It all starts out with the initial meeting. We meet someone and spend time on casual conversation with him or her. Then we get to know more about his or her personality and our interest deepens. Subsequent to these, we feel like the other person has become a friend who we can talk to about anything. The relationship goes from formal to informal, from casual to personal and from strict to easygoing.

If we delineate the differences among the different stages of attraction, we come up with a short list of what actually happens when we fall in love with a person. These steps are illustrated in the following list.

Attraction to Physical Appearance

A person’s outward appearance is the first thing that others notice. A person who has ‘good looks’ will seem more captivating to someone who likes a particular thing about the way that person carries herself or himself. Some like brunettes, blondes and redheads; while others like men and women with jet black hair.

Liking another person’s way of dressing is also considered a part of the attraction to physical appearance. As the clich

People mostly miss their loved one for many reasons. Breaking with a woman is really a hard thing to every guy and it is not very easy to get his girlfriend back. If you can’t forget your girlfriend, don’t be frazzled. Get your loved one back by doing what she likes. Sit and think! Do you really want her back? What went wrong? Is that your fault? Get answers for all these questions first and further get into a conclusion!

After deciding to get back your girlfriend then consider factors like, Was there another man? Is she still interested in you? Everything should be evaluated in a realistic manner. This will give you a clear vision on what to do, when to do and how to get back your girlfriend. Know the correct reason for the break up and change yourself. Correct your mistakes and be yourself as before, when she fell in love with you.

Develop attractive personality to magnetize your girlfriend. Call her for lunch every week; do everything she likes, care her very dearly, send gifts to her regularly. Show her yourself confidence and prove your true love and affection in better way. All these will generate bright sparks in your girl friends mind and heart, and obviously it will bring her back to you very safe.

There are the deliberately manipulative approaches, like dating other lady will make your ex come back. Women jealousy will show off when their boyfriend dates with other women. As soon as the other woman makes an entry into your world, you become a trophy between your current and ex girlfriend. This is very effective way to get back your ex.

One important thing that you must have to find is, ensure that your girlfriend also has a soft corner on you. This will give you a better idea to understand your girlfriend dearly closer and bring her towards your side. It is really important to be loyal and honest, while you express your love and care to her. There are quite several techniques you can follow to get your ex girlfriend back.

You can invite and take her to a coffee shop. Express your deep regrets for what has happened! If possible ask her, whether you can talk something about the situation that created troubles between you both. Because, this will be the best time to explain the tough time, you had before. You can also ask her, which made things wrong either your work, or your attitude or your character. This will surely bring a better understanding to bring your ex back.

If your girlfriend loves you to see really fascinating and gorgeous with cool pleasant wears, then give importance to her favorites. Consider and find out whether you have changed? This should be closely analyzed, because the girl really loved you as she felt you are really good and match her taste very close to her heart. Moreover, she must have loved you closer, as you were prompt in fulfilling her emotional expectations and needs. Behave with a positive attitude and express your bright smile to her. All these tips and techniques will help you to get back your ex girlfriend. Moreover, the girl will understand you much better than ever before.

Jim Matthews offers practical advice on getting an ex back on this link: Get Your Ex Back or going to: http://www.exback123.com/blog/ex/12/ Subscribe now and get a report with a proven 6 step formula to get your ex back.

Turning the pages of the photo album with tears in your eyes? Reminiscing about those wonderful days with your ex-boyfriend? Feverishly searching the internet for answers or ways to the question “How Do I Get a Boyfriend Back?”

If all your answers are ‘yes’, you are definitely a woman who needs help in getting your boyfriend back.

You need to know what to do and what not to do to win your boyfriend back. You don’t want to make mistakes that will drive your ex boyfriend further away.

You need a proven plan and strategies that has worked for thousands of women (over 6200 in 67countries). These proven strategies are in an excellent e-book titled “The Magic of Making Up” by T.W.Jackson.

Mr. Jackson, he likes to be called “T Dub” is not an online psychiatrist or even a college trained professional counselor. Because of his travels and many different life experiences he has become the male version of “Dear Abbey”. No amount of college classroom lectures can come even close to the “real life” experiences of “T Dub”.

In his e-book “The Magic of Making Up” he has developed what he calls the “Love Recipe”. This “Love Recipe” is the answer to your question “How do I get a boyfriend back?”.

In helping so many people in his life to get their ex boyfriends, spouses and lovers back, T Dub believes that there are UNDERLYING REASONS and MOTIVES as to why women and men take their exes back, and these reasons and motives lay hidden from sight of most people.

Once you know and understand the underlying reasons and motives and are given just a little guidance on what you should do and what you should not do, it is like being handed “the recipe” of love. That is why T Dub calls it the “Love Recipe”.

With the Magic of Making Up not only will you be able to get your ex boyfriend back, you also will have the strategies to keep your boyfriend long, long into the future. Your relationship will be stronger and you both will be happier than ever before.

Isn’t that great news? You now have the answer to the question “How do I get a boyfriend back?”.

If you feel you can’t go on without the person you love, then you need the “Love Recipe”. The “Love Recipe” will turn back the clock and return your ecstatic days of romance.

Days following the break-up can be crucial and any movement you make trying to get your boyfriend back could be critical. Immediately after a break up is usually when the mistakes are made and any chances of getting back together will be gone.

You must be warned that the strategies and techniques in The Magic of Making Up are NOT conventional wisdom, you probably have never read or heard about these techniques before.

T Dub believes that there are no impossible situations and the answer to your question of “How do I get a boyfriend back?” is found in The Magic of Making Up.

Now is the time to take that first step to win your boyfriend back.

There are a great number of online sources that give you tips on how to get boyfriend back in your life, but the best techniques and a complete strategy on how to win your guy back are found in an excellent e-book by T. Dub Jackson titled “The Magic of Making Up”.

You have been in love, you had a nice, easy and loving relationship with your boyfriend. You passed those wonderful days in romance, you were with the love of your life, your soul mate.

But now, your relationship is about to fall apart, or worse, it has suffered a total break-up. You know you still love him, you want to know how to get boyfriend back.

You may have spent hours sitting on the bathroom toilet crying you eyes out. But you know crying is not going to make your boyfriend want you back. You need a plan or strategy on how to get your boyfriend back.

You probably have all the symptoms that normally come with this type of situations.

1. You have trouble controlling your emotions-You can’t think straight.

2. You are feeling depressed, you can’t see a way you can get your boyfriend back.

3. You may be over eating or not eating at all. You are only thinking about how to get boyfriend back.

4. You want to call him or email or text him constantly.

5. You missed him deeply and he is all you can think of.

If you have any of the symptoms and you searching for a way that shows how to get boyfriend back you are about to receive some good news!

You must realize you are not alone, thousands of women everyday suffers through what you are going through now.

They search the internet to find forums that have phrases like “make him want you back”, ‘win him back’, ‘wanting an ex back’ etc. They get frustrated seeing no clear-cut solution.

If you’re one of them, there is good news for you.

The answer to how to get your boyfriend back is the Magic of Making Up.

The Magic of Making Up is an excellent e-book by T. Dub Jackson. The methods and strategies that “T Dub” guides you through will help you mend and improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back now!

“T Dub” advice is no black magic or false solutions but the strategies are unconventional and work like magic and will clearly show how to get your boyfriend back.

Even if you think your relationship is at an end, and you think there is no way you will be able to get your ex back, you will be surprised how the unconventional methods described in The Magic of Making Up will prove that there are no impossible situations.

Don’t believe me? Given all those terrible things you did and said to your ex-boyfriend or he did to you?

Well, those don’t matter anymore. With “The Magic of Making Up” your quest of winning your boyfriend back will be over in just a matter of days.

No, don’t look at it in disbelief.

The “Magic of Making Up” methods of getting your boyfriend back have worked for thousands of women who suffered all the pain that you are going through now.

Women who had followed the methods in “The Magic of Making Up” say it has really worked like if it was magic. All these women re-entered their wonderful love life with their boyfriends in their arms.

This excellent e-book is a complete guide for you –the things you must do and the ones you must not do at all in a post-break-up scenario.

In explaining how to get boyfriend back, The Magic of Making Up highlights important matters like, your very first move, your first contact, what to say and what not to, how long should you wait before making the move, when to (or refrain from) apologizing and many other issues.

These are methods you will not find in text books for women who passionately want to know how to get boyfriend back. In fact, following these, you’ll make your boyfriend feel attracted to you and that’s how your ‘how to get boyfriend back?’ question will perfectly be answered.

After many sessions with counselors (and good amount of money as well) you may understand how to get boyfriend back, but the fast-forward techniques in The Magic of Making Up are even more effective, less time consuming and of course inexpensive.

To know how to get boyfriend back, all you need is an urge to reunite. Yes, it is possible to get your boyfriend back and be happy again.

There are a great number of online sources that give you tips on how to get boyfriend back in your life, but the best techniques and a complete strategy on how to win your guy back are found in an excellent e-book by T. Dub Jackson titled The Magic of Making Up”.

Have you broken-up with your loved one recently? Are you desperately thinking that life is not worth it without your boyfriend by your side?

Well, here are some basic starting steps and a proven plan that will definitely help you in getting your boyfriend back. and be happy again. You will first have to start by asking some questions to yourself.

This step is crucial in the process of winning your boyfriend back, as this will give you a broader picture of the situation. It may be difficult for you but has to be done. Before you start trying getting your boyfriend back, you must carefully think about and understand what actually went wrong in your relationship.

You need to ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is the reason of the break up another girl? If so, should you continue thinking of getting your boyfriend back?

2. Does the romance still work for you? If it does, what are the chances of getting your boyfriend back?

3. Do you still love him?

4. Does he still love you? If the answer is yes, then getting your boyfriend back should not be so difficult.

5. What made the situation get to the point of breaking up?

6. Is it worth trying to get my ex boyfriend come back?

These are some of the questions you must ask yourself so you can start working on making your ex boyfriend come back.

It will take some time to get the real answers, but remember that in this process it is very important to take all the time you need to avoid failure.

Getting your boyfriend back is something you have to work hard on and take the time you need in order to do it right. This can prove to be a difficult task but the key point here is to have enough courage to face the questions and facts that may be not so pleasant and you need to deal with them.

Your chance of getting a boyfriend back depends a lot on who was responsible for the break up.

If by any chance you are the one who is more responsible for the breaking up, getting your boyfriend back will take a bit more of time because you need to consider a change of attitude and correct your mistakes.

If in the other hand your boyfriend is the one who bears the most part of the responsibility then you have to think and ask yourself if he will be able to work on those issues and will make things work better for both of you.

Relationships have to be a joint work of both people and even if you try hard in getting your boyfriend back but there are no signs that your ex would change the things that caused the break up, then you may need to rethink everything again.

You will need some advice on how you can get your ex boyfriend to change and stop doing the things that hurts you.

All relationships go through tough moments as life is not always as in the fairy tales. But the main secret to make them work is to have a very deep sense of commitment and selflessness.

If you work hard in getting your boyfriend back and find out that he is not ready for those commitments, the chances you will split again are high and your efforts in getting your boyfriend back will have been in vain.

When you love someone you want the best for that person and you work hard to achieve this. If you bear this in mind you will certainly not have to go through the pain of getting your boyfriend back as he will never leave you.

But this works both ways, so commitment and selflessness must be demonstrated by both of you. Believe me, it does not work if only one gives and the other receives only.

When we are in a relationship we tend to take our loved one for granted. We don’t show them the attention we did in the beginning of the relationship.

Also, sometimes time makes us change in some ways. If you are in the process of getting your boyfriend back, you need to be the person whom he fell in love with. He fell in love with you for all the qualities you showed and it is your turn to show him that this has not changed.

The above steps and questions are only the beginning of your quest for getting your boyfriend back. If you really want to get your boyfriend back then you need a strategy that works.

The strategy that has worked for more than 6200 people across the world is in the excellent e-book titled The Magic of Making Up by T. Dub Jackson.

To get more information on “The Magic of Making Up” and is getting your boyfriend back possible and learn about proven ways on How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back. Warning!! These ways are Unconventional! Don’t forget to watch the free video on the first step on getting your boyfriend back.

While most people understand that an attorney is the best way to go, sometimes there are reasons that you can’t employ the services of one. Perhaps you can’t afford to pay an attorney and need to decide whether you can just represent yourself. If you’re trying to make your decision about representing yourself or hiring an attorney, use the tips and suggestions below to help you decide.

What Kind of Cases Are Best to Represent Yourself In?

There are a few different cases that don’t actually require an attorney. For instance, if you and your spouse were only married for a short time and you both have comparable salaries. Also, it’s best if the two of you have accumulated little during your marriage, or you’ve already decided who gets to keep what. On top of this, it’s even better if the two of you have no children together or have absolutely no problem with the other parent staying involved in the child’s life. Often times this sort of situation can be taken care of quickly as there will be a limited amount of conflict or disputes.

When Is It a Bad Idea to Represent Yourself?

The general rule with this is if you and your spouse will have conflicts or disputes, you will probably need an attorney. If you have been married for a while, accumulated many things during the course of your marriage or you have children and will not agree on child custody matters, you will definitely need an attorney. You should also get one if one of you has worked during the marriage while the other one stayed at home to take care of the children, go to school, etc. The attorney helps to fight for your rights and without one, you may not be able to prove your case well enough to receive your fair share.

If there have been any other problems, such as abandonment, child abuse or neglect, refusal to help monetarily or similar problems, you will also need to hire an attorney. It’s an old saying that the man who represents himself has a fool for a client. This can be true in cases where disputes will need to be solved, compensation will need to be pursued and child custody will need to be determined. In these cases, try your hardest to obtain a lawyer.

What to Do If You Can’t Afford a Lawyer

Ask your court clerk for information on lawyers who operate pro-bono. He or she may be able to provide you with further resources on how to obtain a lawyer even when you can’t afford to pay. There are other organizations that help individuals obtain a lawyer too, such as Legal Aid. Find this organization or similar ones in your state and call them. They may be able to help you get a lawyer to represent you in your divorce.

Use the tips and tricks above to help you determine whether you should represent yourself or find a way to get an attorney.

Danielle L. Taylor is a freelance writer and mom of 3, who’s gone through a devastating divorce with her husband of 15 years (after his infidelity) and was able to get back on track as a strong, happy and free person. She is a member of http://www.Xstilla.com one of the most active online divorce communities, where people find support, help and understanding.

Often times, marriage can be a difficult road. While most of us don’t expect it to be perfect all the time, there are times when it is downright painful. For instance, if you’re dealing with an alcoholic or drug addicted spouse - it can be one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to deal with. This article provides some important tips for dealing with an alcoholic or drug addicted spouse.

Don’t Enable Your Spouse by Making Excuses -

One of the worst things we can do is make excuses for our spouses because we don’t want to accept the real truth. You might say, ‘He’s stressed out right now and the alcohol allows him to relax and calm down.’ You might even go as far as saying, ‘She’s not hurting anyone with her drug usage, so what’s the big deal?’ The truth is that spouses do this all too often. If you’re making excuses for your addicted spouse, stop now.

The truth is that your addicted spouse probably is hurting someone - including you, them and your marriage. If you have children, it’s even worse. In fact, you could be allowing your children to live in danger. No one wants to hurt their spouse or alienate them, but enabling them could be tragic. Step back and take a hard look at the situation. Refuse to make excuses for your spouse any longer.

Get Help for Your Spouse and Yourself -

The second step is to get help. Chances are, you’re not going to be able to help your spouse alone. There are many, many resources for individuals who are suffering with addictions as well as their spouses. Being around others who have overcome drug addictions or who are working on it can really help your spouse find the inspiration to get through this. You may want to convince your spouse to start a 12 step program or something similar. If you’re unable to convince your spouse to get help, force them to get help. Issue an ultimatum by saying that they volunteer to get help or you call the police, leave, etc. By issuing an ultimatum like this, you could be saving your spouse’s life.

Be Supportive -

Although sometimes this kind of situation requires a lot of tough love, it’s essential for you to support your spouse at this time. Overcoming a drug or alcohol addiction is not easy at all. Without your support, your spouse could easily relapse, wonder why they should even try or become discouraged. Remind them of the great things in your life and how much you love them. This will be the fuel they need to get through this and come out the other side as a clean and sober person.

Dealing with an alcohol or drug addicted spouse is very painful and difficult. Don’t neglect yourself at this time! Find support so you can stay strong enough to help your spouse get through this. By using the tips and suggestions above, you can help your spouse overcome their addiction and restore happiness and peace to your family and marriage.

Danielle L. Taylor is a freelance writer and mom of 3, who’s gone through a devastating divorce with her husband of 15 years (after his infidelity) and was able to get back on track as a strong, happy and free person. She is a member of http://www.Xstilla.com one of the most active online divorce communities, where people find support, help and understanding.

CONGRATULATIONS, wise women of the Single Sisterhood. I hope your fieldwork over the past weeks has brought you extraordinary MALE WATCHING opportunities and AHA! moments.

In last month’s article, I shared the story of my own first AHA! moment, when I truly “got” the powerful magic of male watching. I ended my story “He will never know how later that night I wrote a list of his traits in my journal. Then, I turned the page, and wrote all I had learned about myself from watching him be the man he is.”

Maybe, as you observed, dissected, and analyzed male behavior this past month, your best AHA! moment was when you also realized that the true specimen under the microscope was YOU!

One of my favorite Oprah quotes is “It isn’t until you come to a spiritual understanding of who YOU are…not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within….that you can begin to take control.” Now there’s a concept! TAKING CONTROL: A life changing choice that only comes through a deep understanding of who YOU are. Working with this series, DATING WITH YOUR MIND WIDE OPEN, you are doing just that.

In Article One, BASIC MALE WATCHING, you checked in on your childhood, a time when you had precious little control over anyone, much less yourself. Even your feelings were encouraged, ignored, or negated by the people who did hold the control. When little girls are conditioned to disconnect from their intuition, hearing again and again “You shouldn’t feel that way,” You’r’e too sensitive,” or “Stop crying!” they often grow up as women numb to what empowers them most.

So, the purpose of Exercise 1 was for you, the woman, to return to childhood for that second chance to feel what you really felt about each of the significant males of your childhood. Your “Rate the Traits” list breathed new life into your sixth sense, as your mind made the crucial connection between a man’s action and your emotion.

In Article Two, INTERMEDIATE MALE WATCHING, with your mind wide open, you observed men like protozoa in a Petri dish. Your intuition rated their behavior with cold calculation and zero emotional attachment as you refined your “Rate the Traits” list; your choices of + or - echoing your intuitive “Yes, this works for me” or “No, this doesn’t work for me.”

Well done! No wonder the Latin definition of Intuition means “Looking inward for one’s wisdom!” (Want to start a social revolution? Intelligence and Intuition share the same root).

Now you are ready to take your sixth sense to the next level, shifting your sights from protozoa to prince, from pasta to prime rib! It’s time you and your intuition create your personal one-of-a-kind template of what prince means to you.

Welcome to GRADUATE MALE WATCHING!

Creating your Prince Template requires your mental and spiritual focus. I strongly encourage you to carve out some “alone” time for Exercise #3, as you determine WHO HE IS, specifically his CORE VALUES, his PERSONALITY and his PASSIONS.

Note: Ever wonder where the idea of “soul mate” came from? As you go through the steps of designing your prince, notice how often his core values, personality type and passions reflect the woman you are.

CORE VALUES are the foundation for how we live our lives. They clarify the kind of person we choose to be, alone and in relationships. Our core values are most evident when we feel afraid, threatened, under pressure, tempted to compromise, or faced with significant loss. Intimate relationships create the ultimate test for one’s core values because our unconscious hope for intimacy is to heal the hidden emotional wounds from our childhood.

Discerning such depth in a man requires time, testing and tenacity, while watching with your intuition fully engaged. For example, let’s say you’ve had a couple of dates with your http://match.com guy, and he’s cute enough, seems nice, and is attentive to your every word and whim. So, wise woman who seeks her prince, what do you do now? You watch and wait, understanding that men are “wired” for conquest. Until he’s sure of you, typically you will only see what he wants you to see, which is the tiny little tip poking above the surface that hides the humongous iceberg below. Get the picture?

It takes a lot more than happily dating a “nice guy” to guarantee a life long commitment to intimacy. Bringing you flowers on a first date, crying like a baby on the second, or saying “I love you” on the third only prove he’s done his homework about what a woman wants. And, of course, we already know what he wants! So, enjoy the joy, while remembering these frogs can be very clever fellows. Just when you think you’ve found your golden prince, then poof – he morphs green!

You have miles to go before you learn how he reacts when he is frustrated, irritated, angry, afraid, overwhelmed, pressured or embarrassed. If so, does he attack, blame, defend, argue, complain, withdraw, or use sarcasm or profanity? If so, do such behaviors signal prince or frog to you?

So, after your first date, or 10th, if you are still impressed, know there is more, much more to be revealed. This is the most crucial time to keep your mind wide open, and your heart safe, until you are absolutely sure you have, indeed, found your prince.

Exercise #3: Prince Template

WHO HE IS: CORE VALUES, PERSONALITY, PASSIONS

What you will need:

Your notebook, a pen, your “Rate the Trait” list, and sky’s the limit thinking.

Time required: About one hour, maybe more

Examples of values, personality, and passions are listed for each area. However, feel free to add any others that describe your “perfect for you” prince.

CORE VALUES

Step 1. On the top line of the next page in your notebook write the words WHO HE IS. On the next line, write CORE VALUES. List at least five, not more than ten Core Values that reflect your prince, skipping two lines between each word.

Examples of princely core values: honesty, integrity, authenticity, conscious life style, ethical, optimism, success, punctual, attentive, fiscally responsible, reliable, fair minded, spiritual, ambitious. If important to you, include political and / or religious persuasions.

NOTE: His core values are 98% linked to his childhood (subliminal message/ Mother), but, that’s a topic for another time.

STEP 2: After each Core Value write a statement of how someone would demonstrate success in that area. Example:

Core value: Honesty

“He shows me he’s honest when he ________________________________”

STEP 3: This step requires significant “tuning in” to your intuition. Please take all the time you need. The thoughtfulness you give to this step holds the potential to reward you for the rest of your life. Rank each core value in order of importance to you, with #1 being your most important, non-negotiable, big time deal breaker.

STEP 4: Starting with quality #1, list in order of priority your CORE VALUES sentences from Step 2 into a paragraph.

Example: If honesty is your #1 priority for his core values, write that sentence first. Next sentence, write about #2. As you write, feel free to use your imagination and literary license to describe your man’s core values.

Following are the categories, PERSONALITY and PASSIONS. To complete each category, simply repeat steps 1 – 4 from above. When you are finished, you will have created your prince template.

PERSONALITY

Determining his prince PERSONALITY is a breeze compared to his core values. After all, even on a first date, an introvert would have a hard time faking the “life of the party” guy! (The same applies to his PASSIONS. Very simple choices!) Hint: Your “Rate the Traits” + list is the perfect place to start.

Examples of Princely PERSONALITY traits: Sense of humor, communicative, assertive, optimistic, responsive, intelligent, traditional, liberal, extroverted, introverted, patience, focused, strong silent type, studious, leader, follower, project oriented, process oriented, thrifty, risk taker, competitive, logical, kind, spontaneous, goal-oriented, energetic, sensitive, neat, organized, responsible, determined, generous, compassionate, understanding.

PASSIONS

Passions are determined by what motivates, compels, or just plain lights up your prince’s life, as in what he would choose if given competing choices.

Examples of PASSIONS: YOU, intimacy, family, friends, health, competition, career, adventure, challenge, self-actualization, business success, wealth, male bonding, happiness, competitive bridge, wine tasting, community service, animals, reading, gambling, education, running marathons, music, politics, religion.

That’s it! You now know everything about your prince, but where he is!

So, get out there, girlfriend. Decide where you would likely meet your “Mr. Perfect” and off you go. Often, your PASSION preferences are where you will find him. For example, if “physical fitness” qualifies, join a gym or running club, or man a water booth at the next marathon in your city.

If you listed “music,” volunteer to usher at concerts, or audition for your community chorale or church choir. To find a man dedicated to “community service,” you may spot him hanging doors for “Habitat for Humanity,” coaching YMCA basketball, or fund raising for community projects. To find your “animal lover,” volunteer at the SPCA or organize events for the city zoo.

This is your time to check in with your creative mind as to where you need to be to find him doing what he loves to do! So, sign up for a college course in his passion preference, or check out your hometown community event calendar. Always, use your imagination and your smile to attract the prince who is waiting for you! The payoff is authentic intimacy all wrapped up in each other’s arms!

“You change your future when you really know what matters most to you, then settle for nothing less.” -Morgan Delaney

Relationship expert, consultant, and educator, Morgan Delaney, MS, empowers single women with the real secrets about dating and relationships, based on a decade of research in the fields of developmental psychology, brain-based gender differences, and the fascinating mysteries of the male psyche. To learn more about Ms. Delaney’s relationship research, and forthcoming books, visit Single Sisterhood.

“We never seem to be able to solve any problems,” Kaylee told me in a phone session. “Every time we sit down to solve a problem, we end up fighting. It doesn’t really matter what it is about - it always ends up the same. Is this normal? Aren’t couples supposed to be able to solve problems?”

“Kaylee, who usually initiates problem-solving talks?”

“I do.”

“When you ask Hayden to talk with you about a problem, how does he usually react?”

“He usually rolls his eyes, but he sits down with me.”

“Do you have any idea why he rolls his eyes?”

“Yeah. He doesn’t want to have to change.”

“So when you ask him to sit down with you to solve a problem, he knows that what you are really after is getting him to change, is that right?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“And then what happens?”

“Well, I tell him what is not working for me and what I think we should do about it and then we end up arguing.”

“So, your intent in talking is to solve the problem by getting him to change, is that right?”

“Well, yeah! He is the one causing the problem for me!”

“Kaylee, as long as you believe that he is causing your unhappiness, you will continue to be unhappy. I have a suggestion for you to try. Instead of trying to get him to change so that you can feel better, try not talking about problems at all. Instead of talking with him, open to learning about what you can do to solve the problem for yourself. Ask your inner guidance what YOU need to do differently to make yourself happy, rather than what HE needs to do differently to make you happy. After all, you are the only one you actually have control over.

“The reason you keep fighting about problem-solving is because you are trying to control him and he is resisting being controlled while trying to have control over getting you off his back. Neither of you are accepting that you don’t have control over each other - only over yourselves. With both of you trying to control, you get stuck in power struggles with no way of resolving anything. But if you focus on what you can control - which is you - then you can learn what you need to do to take care of yourself in the face of whatever Hayden does. How does this sound to you?”

“I’m not sure how this will work. Let’s say that I’m upset with Hayden for not calling me when he is going to be late for dinner. It doesn’t seem to be to be such a big deal for him to call me, yet he consistently forgets. And you’re right - I have no control over getting him to call me. What am I supposed to do?”

“What are you telling yourself that is upsetting you when he doesn’t call?”

“That he doesn’t care about me. That he has been in an accident. That he is having an affair.”

“Then, of course, you feel upset because you are telling yourself things that you don’t know to be true. What if you told yourself, ‘Hayden is not calling me because he is overwhelmed with work, he is a forgetful person, and he is in resistance to being controlled by me. So I’m going to call a friend and go out to dinner. Or, I’m going to go to the gym whenever he is late. Or, I’m going to rent a movie and eat in front of the TV whenever he is late.’ Would you still be so upset?”

“I don’t think so! I’m going to try this. I feel better already!”

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and